OMG I'm a BOYFRIEND-AHOLIC

so I'm at home on this during this ice storm and I watched Tyra and on her show she had a girl who has never been single. The girl has had 50 boyfriends in her whole life and always needs attention from whom ever she is with!

Omg, that's me!

I can remember all the way back to 1st grade when I had my first boyfriend named Reginald and he dumped me and I moved on to the next.
I have never been single, I don't like it or what to do with it.

When my fiance died, it hurt like hell but a month or so after I had a "friend" and 3 months after that I had a boyfriend, whom I didn't even like and I hung on to him till I got a new boyfriend the next month.

okay so as u can see, there r issues there and I have to address them before I get into another void filling relationship.

1. y am i afraid of being with just me?
2. do i feel this way because my father is not in my life?
3. low selfesteem?
4. haven't gotten over my fiance's death?

Single Woman seeking Single Man

OK here it is, the qualifications needed:

I am a Beautiful Woman of God whom loves life and all it has to offer, I am a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and someone who has a positive view on all things. A hopeless romantice, charasmatic, and a free spirit and just some words that describe me. I'm the person you'll find sitting in the park near the pond pondering under a tree. I'm the person that enjoys taking long drives just to see what the earth has to offer.

I am seeking a man whom doesn't mind holding doors, pulls out my chair, plays in my hair (even when it needs to be washed). Whom wants to be my friend, ask about my day, and doesn't mind all the things I have to say. Someone who loves the idea of family, wants the best out of life, and can go throughout this world with no strife. Someone who is not afraid to Love The Lord, who'll pull out his sword to protect all that is his and that is going to be.
He must be goal oriented, have drive and be true to himself that he is nothing without God by his side.

Being as though this is not a real personal add, I often wonder if the man is out there for me

Single?

I don't understand y I'm having the hardest time excepting that I am single! Most people have a ball being single and love not having anyone in there space. I am FREAKIN pissed that I am alone and I can't figure out y. First I thought is was a low selfesteem issue and that I had to figure me out and thats y I'm single. Then I figured, it's my appearance, I'm 25 and dress way to conservative (plain) for my age, then I figured it's because I'm a single parent (no guy wants to raise another mans child).
I had an unrealistic goal to be married by 23 and become a mother of 2 by age 26 with a loving husband in this gorgeous house with 2 dogs surrounded by great friends with the awesome career and blah blah blah.
I didn't always want to get married, I was content having a lot of male friends but that was in high school, once I graduated I met my then fiance and we had our son and life was good. We had our apartment and planned the wedding and had dreams and goals to fulfill but then my fiance took ill and died and so did all our hopes and dreams.
Maybe I'm trying to fill this void for something I once had and can't let go.

I need a hobby!

Justified ( just if I never sinned)

I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ but living through Him and for Him is the hardest part of living. It is so easy to think that u are put on this earth to fulfill your every wants and desires but what about the desires of God. After you commit sin, do u stop and think about you have done or do you try to JUSTIFY your actions.Just if I'd never sinned then I would not be here trying to explain to myself that everyone makes mistakes and that I am flesh and flesh is weak. How weak am I?To be the perfect Christian is untouchable but to be an Honest Christian is an Honor. I feel Blessed to know that my struggles are someone else's and someone else's struggles are mine.

My FIRST Love

My first love was this guy named Jason Smith, he was 14 and I was 11. I was so pump because I was the only 6th grader (out of my friends) with a high school boyfriend. Jason was tall with pretty hair (that's back when light skin boys were in) and had a smile that made your heart stop beating. We use to play basketball together, ride bikes and even play " hide and go freak", he even gave me my first kiss in the alley behind my house.Those were the days.To me Jason was the best thing since sliced bread, it could get no better than being with him, but I have no clue what I meant to Jason because I was a secret. None of his friends nor his parents knew about me and neither my parents about him but all of my little girlfriends knew.Boy did I love some JasonI am not sure how long we dated but I do remember I would get home from school around 3 and Jason would be walking home from school about that time too. I came home one day and waited for Jason to walk up the street, but he never came. A couple hours later I saw it, he was coming out of my supposed friends house who lived across the street. He never looked my way and I never said a word. I was crushed! Jason told me a couple of days later that he and her were dating and he needed someone on his level, someone in high school that could do more things that I could. I cryed for what seemed like yrs.He was my first love! So I Thought!God (Our Creator) knew us before we were formed and knew what was to become of our lives and yet He still loved us and let us live. The truth is, My FIRST Love never broke my heart or even made me cry. He loved me regaurdless and never left my side. He sent His Son to go through pain for me so that I would never have to endore what I took myself through. His Son died for me. U see in all actually, Jason had nothing on My First Love and he could never compare to the love My First Love is still showing me everyday of my life.

Heart Broken

I don't understand why it hurts so bad to be single! You try so hard to live this Godly life and do everything the way God says in the Bible. Be that Proverbs 31 woman, that was my goal but it seems to be unreachable. Guys always talk about wanting a good woman and yet I feel way over-looked! I am a very good woman. I do for myself, I take care of my son, and I will try my hardest to take care of the one I'm with. I DON"T UNDERSTAND!!!!!I watched Maury the other day and this girl brought her boyfriend on there who she had been dating for some time. He took care of her, their bills, their home, and all he wanted from her was to have a baby. She confessed to him that she cheated over 100x with his bestfriend whom she had gotten pregnant by 3 times and had 3 abortions! WHAT THE HECK!!!!Why do I feel like I'm wasting my time waiting and praying for this man I want to one day marry just to get my hopes let down by some jerk who just wants to live in that moment that I dont think is worth sharing with him. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of hoping, and I'm tired of praying for this rib cage that my rib is suppose to fit perfectly with!Girls who lay down with dogs get flea's but girls who don't lay down at all get broken hearts and alcers from the anticipation of waiting on her prince to notice she's RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! Ugh!!!Sincerely,Single Forever